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  • 22-SEP-2025 | Excerpt from Beck’s “Eternal optimist” Ad

22-SEP-2025 | Excerpt from Beck’s “Eternal optimist” Ad

Author

Dan Bogachek
September 22, 2025

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Excerpt from Beck’s “Eternal optimist” Ad

How to survive six hours trapped in a lift with an eternal optimist.

Hell could be like this: Given the choice of demons inserting red hot pokers into one’s more squidgy bits for eternity, or an afternoon in close proximity with a die-hard optimist, and most people will opt for the kindness of demons.

Everyone knows that life isn’t fair. And since ‘life’ encompasses just about everything that happens on the planet, it doesn’t leave much room for optimism does it?

Unless you include a whole lot of really contented rocks.

But no. The eternal optimist will tell you that even at the Heart of Darkness there glows a light so bright that God can’t pay the electricity bill; that all people are basically good; and that, yes, there are crabs that can walk in a straight line, and sweet-talk a policeman when they’re pulled-over for drunk-driving. 🏁

A hairy dog philosophy joke geared to sell beer.

Look at the variation in sentence length. The last paragraph in particular! “But no” is the first sentence, and the rest of the paragraph is all in that second sentence.

The colorful language and absurdist imagery really shines here. Feels like a Carlin bit — you can really hear the voice.