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  • 2-JAN-2026 | Excerpts from Neil French’s “Feeling A Bit Gloomy This Morning?” Ad for Beck’s Beer

2-JAN-2026 | Excerpts from Neil French’s “Feeling A Bit Gloomy This Morning?” Ad for Beck’s Beer

Author

Dan Bogachek
January 02, 2026

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Excerpts from Neil French’s “Feeling A Bit Gloomy This Morning?” Ad for Beck’s Beer

So, you’re feeling a bit gloomy this morning?
Read on. By lunchtime you can be suicidal.

1. Concentrate. How miserable are you exactly? A little ‘down’? Depressed? Or on the verge of crying, stamping, and generally behaving like John McEnroe on one of his better days?

…

6. Beck’s Beer is outrageously, unfairly, expensive. Ordinary beer isn’t.

7. Life itself is unfair. (See above).

8. It is, you’ll agree, the rich what gets the pleasure, and the poor what gets the blame. The poor also gets the sticky end of every deal going: Viz and to whit, no Beck’s. If you are poor, you’ll agree this, too, is very unfair indeed. If you are rich, get on with your Beck’s. And I hope you drown in it.

9. One red traffic-light is always followed by another red traffic-light.

10. Especially when you’re in a hurry.

11. More especially when you’re late for an appointment you wish you hand’t made in the first place. 🏁

  • Engage your reader with imagination. “Concentrate… one of his better days?” — strong because 1) it tells you what to do (and yep, you did what it told you to, didn’t you?), 2) gets you in touch with how you’re feeling and commiserates with you, then 3) puts a funny image into your head.

  • Callbacks are ace. They can subtly acknowledge the journey you and your reader have been on, double down on a joke, or pleasantly tie together a motif.

  • Complete ideas >> complete sentences!